Just me ranting

 Idk what's wrong with me at this point 

I was perfectly fine just in one of those sleep slumbers then all of sudden everything starred to annoy me and I was so annoyed I went to my room to sleep and just as I closed my eyes I was taken back to that 2 Dec night again and then boom 

I have this continuous tension of my future and deep down some part of me believes I won't get to live the life I always dreamt of and I'll end up living the same life as my mother and it's my biggest fear which I don't even want to say out aloud

And I hate how my brother is turning into this version of men I hate he was just a boy and whenever I see glimpses of that little boy it hurts a lot knowing how he'll never be same again 

I'm so frustrated both mentally and physically

I'm strained and I don't how to make it better 

I hate living like this

I hate crying everytime something goes slightly wrong 

I hate to have this continuous worry about money and my future

I was just a little girl who wanted to be happy it wasn't much to ask

I have so many complaints 

I have stopped praying 

I lost my faith deep down

I know it's wrong but I don't even bother anymore 

I hate going to the graveyard

I hate hate hate it 

I hate being at home

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