I'm sick since yesterday baba and no one bothered to get me medicine and I just hate everything rn I hate living baba I wish I could just die It's so hard to live without you because no one bothers to check on me and I'm supposed to be fine all the time and I hate crying because my head hurts a lot I want everything to be over before I end up doing something bad
🕰 Diary Entry September 8th, 2025 Between anger and longing I had one of the strangest dreams tonight. My family and I were sitting down to eat—my brother, sister, parents and something inside me snapped. They were all paying more attention to my sister than me, and I could feel the anger building, heavy and hot. I stormed into my room, slamming the door like I was sealing myself away from them. Then my sister came in to use my bathroom. That made me furious. I forced her out, shut the door, and we struggled with it,her pushing, me holding it shut. Then my mother came. She slipped her hand into the door, and it got hurt in the struggle. Instead of stopping everything, she let my sister win, let her use the bathroom. That cut deeper than anything. I felt invisible. Small. Like my feelings didn’t matter. That’s when the dream turned dark. My anger didn’t stay with them it turned inward, against myself. It was as if my dream-self thought, “Maybe if I disappear, they’ll finally be ha...
Idk what's wrong with me at this point I was perfectly fine just in one of those sleep slumbers then all of sudden everything starred to annoy me and I was so annoyed I went to my room to sleep and just as I closed my eyes I was taken back to that 2 Dec night again and then boom I have this continuous tension of my future and deep down some part of me believes I won't get to live the life I always dreamt of and I'll end up living the same life as my mother and it's my biggest fear which I don't even want to say out aloud And I hate how my brother is turning into this version of men I hate he was just a boy and whenever I see glimpses of that little boy it hurts a lot knowing how he'll never be same again I'm so frustrated both mentally and physically I'm strained and I don't how to make it better I hate living like this I hate crying everytime something goes slightly wrong I hate to have this continuous worry about money and my future I was jus...
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