DENIAL?

 They say there are 5 stages of grief and as time passes you reach the final stage (acceptance) but I feel like I'm somewhat caught between denial and anger. I still don't want to believe that you're gone , it feels like I'm back in 5th grade waiting for you by the front door only back then I knew you were coming. I finally made myself watch the funeral video today and it felt like someone stabbed me in heart, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, seeing you covered in all white. I remember white was your favourite colour but rn I hated that white on you , I hated the white that sucked life out of your face.

I've a lot to say but somehow everytime I visit you, my mind goes blank. All I could do is cry over my loss and all those thoughts that I keep suppressing starts making there way to me. 

IS THIS REALLY WHAT I'VE BECOME NOW?

A FRAGMENT OF YOUR MEMORIES, 

A BUNDLE OF WHAT IFS AND REGRETS,

SO WHEN DO I GEF TO SEE YOU

WILL I BE STILL A MESS,

BROKEN DREAMS AND GLIMPSE OF FORGOTTEN ME?

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